Sometimes the answer is "No"

For the last few months I have been hoping for that second pink line on a pregnancy test. 

Tony is 16 months now, and seems so big. At this point he'll be over 2 before he has a sibling. Everyone around us is asking when we're going to have another baby. (Even Zach's classmates ask when #2 is coming.)

This month I really thought we would be sharing that joyful news.

But, God had another plan.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that you can do everything you need to, but unless God puts life there, it doesn't matter. The same can be said of the reverse situation - sometimes He gives life when by all human calculations there "shouldn't" be. 

 You never know what God has in store. Often it isn't what we would think. Instead of getting down over the way this month turned out, I'm trying to work on virtues that will make me a better wife and mother. 

I'm trying to put aside the fear that people will think we're avoiding having a baby. (Especially in this society people jump to the conclusion that because you're in school, you must be waiting to have more children.)

I'm trying to be more patient. That virtue is at the top of my list of "Need More Of."

And trusting. I firmly believe that God sends children when it is the right time, even if it isn't my time. Periodically, however, I have negative thoughts about why I'm not pregnant yet. I don't want to think that way. I want to accept whatever I am given without worry or stress. I want to have joy knowing that I am fulfilling God's will for my life, regardless of how I think it should be.

Now I'm going to take my sleeping baby to bed. He needs a few extra prayers - he caught impetigo from the boy I'm babysitting, and right now it's very mild. I would be so sad if it turned into one of those awful cases you see when you search for pictures.

Love,

Jess