Requiescat in pace

After over two years of suffering, Grandpa finally saw a close to this chapter of his journey to heaven.

He had a beautiful death - he opened his eyes for the first time in days, and stared to his left, until he just stopped breathing.

It has been a long two years. He hasn't been able to speak, and for the last year he has been bedridden. I don't know that Zach has ever known him the way that I knew him as a girl and young woman.

He wasn't a man of many words, but one who always protected and provided for his family. He was thinker, and always slow to get things done. Even becoming Catholic took him 49 years of being married to my Grandma! That was three years ago in September, the day before his pacemaker was put in. He chose St. Michael as his patron saint.

Taken many years before I was born, while they lived in Hawaii.

 This week has been a hard one for our family - many all-night vigils by his bedside, fear that he was in pain, and trying to be sure that we were doing what the Church says we have to do for him.

Grandma and Grandpa have touched many lives through their suffering. Grandma has been a witness to the sanctity of life to the hospice doctors and nurses, never backing down from the Church's teaching on end of life care. The ever-apparent love that she had for my Grandpa, even when he was feeble, and unable to communicate in any way.

We are grateful for an end to his earthly pain, and pray that his path to heaven from here is easy. 

Much grieving has been done over the past year, but I would still ask for prayers for Grandma, as she adjusts to life without my Grandpa. For the repose of Grandpa's soul. As well as for our family, and the empty spot there will be.

There will be a sung Requiem Mass for him next week. A glorious way to recommend his soul to God!

I love you, Grandpa. I wish you could be here to see my baby.

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon him. May his soul, and all the souls of the faithful departed, rest in peace. Amen.

Love,

Jess

Merry Christmas!

I hope that everyone had a blessed and peace-filled Christmas!

One of the Christmas card runner-ups.

 We had a very quiet Christmas. 

My family started battling a stomach bug, and what seems like the flu, over the weekend. The bug is gone, but there are still children miserable with fevers. 

On Sunday night, my Grandpa stopped breathing. Zach couldn't find a pulse. He did CPR on him, not sure what would happen, and Grandpa came back. He was dead, though. For 2 minutes. He had multiple seizures that night, and the hospice nurse told Grandma to call her children. We prayed the prayers in the 1962 missal for a person in their last agony. Some of my Mom's siblings came. My Mom sat up with him all night so Grandma could sleep. 

He's still here. He had another seizure yesterday morning, and after finally eating some jello yesterday (he hadn't been awake enough to swallow since Sunday), he started choking on it again last night. He had another mini-seizure this morning, and has a fever. The nurse who came on Sunday said he has aspiration pneumonia. Right now they think he will probably end up with kidney failure, and then go into a coma and pass peacefully. That is what we pray for.

  We didn't make it to Midnight Mass because of the snow that came down on Christmas Eve. More than half of my family wasn't able to go because of the sickness. Zach took some of the healthy ones to Mass on Christmas morning, and then was sweet and went to Mass again with me at noon.

We opened presents on Christmas Eve, since we were unsure of who would be going to Mass. I am embarrassed to say that Tony was a monster. He had fallen asleep, and then woke up. So did the crab inside.

Completely unimpressed by his lamb.

In a lot of ways it didn't feel like Christmas. But Christmas is more than the dinner you eat, or how healthy you're feeling. Father's homily made me think about that. Did you know that the Irish brought the tradition of Midnight Mass to the United States? Or that the word merry in Merry Christmas means Blessed and Peace-filled? I thought that was really neat. 

I hope that everyone enjoys the rest of the Christmas season! We have snow again today, so people are having fun inside playing board games. (The Lord of the Rings game, anyone?)

Much love,

Jess

{pretty, happy, funny, real}

{pretty}

This was taken on the George Bailey bridge. That building on the right once was the Seneca Knitting Mill. We had a very mild (read: warm) day in the beginning of December, so Katrina and I took Tony for a walk around town. It was a grand day, ending at the church where we sang hymns for an hour.

Our town claims to be the inspiration for Bedford Falls in Capra's "It's a Wonderful Life!" The story goes that Capra was visiting someone in Rochester or Syracuse, and drove through Seneca Falls, stopping for a haircut. As you can see from the memorial on the bridge, they were very proud of Antonio Varacalli's sacrifice, and whether the theory is true or not, it's a lovely one. Every December they have a festival, and this year the actresses who played Janie and Zuzu came. We didn't get out to it because of prior commitments, but hopefully next year we can make it out.

{happy}

Tony ready for the wedding. He had a blast at the reception.

 Last weekend we had the pleasure of attending the wedding of one of Zach's oldest friends, who was the best man at our wedding. The three of us paid our first visit to Dallas for the occasion. I had been worried about how Tony would do on the flight, but he was great, thank God! The return flight left at 7am, and we all slept. I definitely think that is the way to go. It's a pain to get up so early, but the peacefulness of it is totally worth it.

This was sometime during the flight to Dallas. He was being such a sweetie. I can never get enough of his blue eyes. 

We brought my sister to my parents before flying to Texas. Tony was super excited to see all of the kids. This might make me a bad mommy, but I couldn't get him to settle down until midnight. He didn't want to nurse, eat, or be with me at all. He just wanted to run around. He had spent quite a long time in the car, and missed bedtime, which didn't help.

{funny}

Zach took another picture, with Tony's hand coming up like a zombie or something, but it was blurry. This one is almost as funny, though. He loves being pulled around in boxes, baskets, or on a blanket. He will try tapping his foot at you to make you go if you stop. 

{real}

For the past month I have been trying to get Tony involved in what I'm doing. Sometimes it's more aggravating (when he pulls the sweet potatoes out of the pot), but he is learning to help, and understands all kinds of things now - close the door, put it in the pot, and put it in the trash are the most helpful ones. I asked Auntie Leila for some tips on training a little one his age (17 months) to sit in church. One thing that stuck out to me was to make him sit for 10-20 minutes a day while I make dinner, reading books, or going for a walk. If he doesn't have to sit any other time, why would he understand sitting at Mass? Finals is a crazy time in our house, but I already have some goals for January: potty training and spending more time reading to Tony being at the top of the list.

If those things weren't important, they definitely would be since we found out that we will be having Baby #2! 

Before I was pregnant I went back and forth on when to tell people. In the end, we decided to share the news right away. The joy of a new life should not be less celebrated because there is more potential to lose it in the beginning. 

God never ceases to amaze me. His timing is always impeccable. I am due August 18th, which is right at the end of finals. If things go the way they did with Tony, we could have a baby closer to the beginning of August. Either way, we're so, so thrilled. (Zach is incredibly grateful for the timing - had I been due during the next trimester, it would have been very difficult for him beginning the acupuncture program, taking part I boards, and taking one of the hardest trimesters of chiropractic.)

Right now my greatest concern is finding a midwife who does deliveries during August. It's kind of funny to me that two of the nearest homebirth midwives take July and August off! Babies don't know that, and what are mamas to do if they are due then? One of Zach's professors is trying to help us out by calling one of them to see if she will take us...I'm praying!

A Gold Skirt for Christmas

Trina and I were chatting about Christmas clothes last week, and she told me that she really wanted a gold sequin skirt. We checked the JoAnn's that is closest to my house and they didn't have anything. I searched the internet, only finding fabric that was $16 and up per yard. We only needed one yard, but that's still a lot. A few days later we went to Ithaca one evening to get pictures printed for our Christmas cards, and stopped by the JoAnn's. The second display had the perfect gold sequin fabric for 60% off! We bought stretchy nude lining, and black elastic for the waistband. I finally put it together today while Tony was napping. I didn't use a pattern, which caused a small issue with the size, but I solved it easily, and next time will add a little more ease.

Trina likes it, and I'm really please with how it came out. I have some black fabric with sequins in a design to make myself a skirt for Christmas, too.

Love,

Jess