I've been telling myself I'm not going to let my mouth run on here about this topic. Then I run across another article that really bothers me. So even though my opinion is simply that, and I have no pretty letters after my name to make it worth anything, I'm saying what I think.
Why do so many NFP Catholics think that NFP awareness is the solution to stopping artificial contraceptive using Catholics from using AC? And that using NFP is the only way to be living their Faith in regards to having children?
What would be far more effective is if priests started teaching the truth about the Church and artificial contraception. About being open to life. About sacrifice, and how that is the path to heaven.
Because NFP isn't the be-all-and-end-all of a happy marriage. Not using NFP doesn't mean you're undisciplined. Ultimately people should be open to God's will...not how they can cram kids into their life without too much trouble.
What the NFP promotions end up sounding like to me: let's get people off this sinful method of family planning, replace it with one that's acceptable, and hope that over time people will have a change of heart and discern what "responsible parenthood" means for them. But that change of heart is going to be attacked from every direction. If priests aren't saying what they have to say, then who is going to encourage people? You get online and you read a lot of "well, the Church says you have to be responsible parents...so if you think can only handle two kids, that's okay."
Children are a gift. Not a right, not a guarantee. Some people are very blessed, and some have to live with the pain of never having a child.
At the end of the day, God is the Author of Life - Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. I don't believe there are accidents when it comes to babies. I'm the accidental result from a tragic situation, but I believe that God made my life with just as much purpose as anyone else.
While I can't stand the marketing of NFP, and we begged our way out of the pre-Cana required class, promising to learn it should we ever discern that we needed to use it, I try to put myself in the shoes of people who do use it and refrain from judging. I also realize that charting can help diagnose issues with fertility, but that's not the usual promotion, and not everyone needs it in that capacity.
So, yes, my two cents on a highly personal, controversial issue. I am honestly not trying to start a fight or make people feel bad or judged, just giving a small bit of perspective from a non-NFP user.
Love,
Jess
"And on the 8th day, God created NFP."
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, well said, Jess. We need priests to teach that children are a blessing and that we should have as many as God sees fit to give us. THEN and only then, should they follow up with "if there are grave reasons..." Unfortunately, I have never heard of NFP being taught that way.
Funny I should come here and read this today... I was on a large Catholic family e-mail list for the last 10 years. I just left it yesterday due to a discussion about this very thing. Have you ever heard of a BabyComp? Neither did I until someone mentioned it and another asked what it was. The woman said it told, by taking temps, whether one was more likely to conceive a boy or a girl. Can you belive this? You hit the nail on the head when you touched on people looking at you as irresponsible and undiciplined if you choose NOT to use it. UGh!
ReplyDeleteEnd of rant. All I can say is Amen to your post!
God bless,
Kristen
Well said, Jess! I think what frustrates me the most is that most Catholics do not understand (due to a lack of proper instruction) that NFP is only acceptable for a grave reason. Otherwise it just turns into Catholic birth control. And birth control is wrong. Oh well, I don't need to have a rant on here after you said it so nicely. :) So proud to be your mom!
ReplyDeleteJon,
ReplyDeleteThe 8th day made me laugh. That's how I feel people think of it sometimes.
Kristen,
I had never heard of the BabyComp. I just looked it up...wow. What is wrong with people? Zach laughed when I told him how the gender prediction works...saying, "do they actually have success with that?" (Even if they claim to, you wonder how large their user-base is.)
Thanks, Mom. :) I learned everything from you.
My husband and I took the required PreCana class - and knew how to do it. I will admit that we did use it for a while - when we had 2 kids 20 months apart and our oldest was diagnosed with developmental issues. We were scared and overwhelmed - and knew that at that moment in time we had to use NFP. We honestly only used it for about 10 months - then went back to our "Let God" method. (This was what my husband responded to my SIL when she asked if we were trying when we had our second child. He said - "We don't try - we let God take care of all that." We have used the comment since that day to describe our feelings. We didn't feel badly about using NFP during that time. We knew that we were struggling terribly to make sense of what was going on with our oldest and help him and take care of our other child. Our 3rd child was born 33 months after the second - so we obviously went back to our "Let God" method soon enough.
ReplyDeleteWith a house full of boys and currently expecting - I have to admit part of me wishes I was charting at conception for each of them. Could care less what the gender of our kids are (It seems every random stranger in the world cares to tell me it is a pity one of them wasn't a girl but we don't care.) - but might be entertaining to see if there is/was any validity to it. Makes you wonder if they could use it to help stop abortions. You hear stories of places in the world where children of the "wrong" gender are aborted - if it actually worked - it might do some good.